I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
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