Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
