Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
