& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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