would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
