My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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