I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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