The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
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