Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize