trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
