S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
