I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
