omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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