Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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