this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
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I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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