I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
