You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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