I wish I only lived at night.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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