I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm just crazy horny about you
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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