Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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