Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
