You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
im six kinds of drunk right now
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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