Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
