we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
