There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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