I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
