Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
