if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
