So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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