it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
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I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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