My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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