Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
