I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
