yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
