So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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