we made out on top of his cat.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
