i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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