I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
