Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
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