Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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