Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
