happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
