my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
