No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
