Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
