I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
