watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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