No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
