If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
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I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
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I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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