I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
