Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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