I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
