he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
