So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize