I wish my penis had an off switch
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
