i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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