I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize