did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
